Los Tres Ringers Tournaments

One Down

2010-08-28T06:03:00.000-05:00

Ringers pull off a speedy 3-1 win against the Nailers in the first game

2010 Factory Summer Hockey Classic

2010-08-13T09:36:00.005-05:00

The Ringers are planning another visit to Wake Forest the weekend of August 27th-29th. Three games, refreshments, and no Pat Norman should make this another interesting outing.

The roster is shaping up and fees being collected as we speak. Check out the Factory's site for more details, and familiarize yourself with all the rules here.

More details to follow...

Mixed start for each team

2009-08-28T15:24:00.004-05:00

The Ringers started off well with their first game,6 to 3 final. Gunga, however, did not fare so well, mustering a single point against Jack Astor's 7. The boys haven't quite hit their stride, but the team has the horses to get the job done. 7:45am game should turn out a bit different.

In the meantime, Uncle Greg spent some quality time with the kids tonight telling his favorite bedtime stories about some hockey superstar from NJ...

PIH Summer Classic Rules

2009-08-28T08:01:00.003-05:00

Here's a breakdown of the way the tournament will be run:

Game rules
All rules will be normal USA hockey rules for playing purposes. Slapshots are allowed. In our division, a 3 goal cap will be allowed per player per game.

Game points
The first three games will be a round robin system, and teams will be awarded points as follows:

- 3 points for a regulation win
- 2 points for a shootout win
- 1 point for a shootout loss
- 0 points for a regulation loss

The shootout that is used at the end of a round robin game is a 5 person shootout. Should a semifinal or final game (Sunday games) go to OT, there will be a 5 minute sudden death overtime. Should the game still be tied after the overtime a 5 person shootout will be used.

Tiebreakers going for Sunday rankings will be head to head records, goals for/against, followed by fewest penalty minutes.

Chauder and Wilson will NOT be showing

2009-08-27T16:27:00.003-05:00

I realize now that Wilson was perpetrating an elaborate prank on my behalf, deluding me into thinking that he and Chauder might actually play this tournament this year. One more trip to N.C. just for old time's sake.

But no, it was all a big ruse. Wilson sitting there with all his Toronto buddies, saying, "hey, boys - check oot how I'm f*cking with these hicks in North Carolina! I just told him I'm buying a plane ticket, eh?"

Again, we'll have to muster it out on our own.

Ringers Return to Tournament Scene!

2009-07-27T22:09:00.002-05:00

Last weekend in August marks the first Polar Ice House Wake Forest Classic tournament. The Labatt's Adult Classic has been shuffled off to Charlotte (in September) - we'll see if the new management can maintain the fervor!

On a good note, we're back to the cold case of actual frosty beverages after the game - very handy. Unfortunately, there aren't some anonymous USA Hockey goofballs for Marty to yell at. We see these people every week, so a firey rant will not serve us in the long run.

The other note, however, is that this year, our affiliations have enough players to front two teams - Los Tres Ringers and Gunga La Gunga.

More to come on all this soon!

Orr's Flying Goal

2008-09-20T12:15:00.001-05:00

Aunt GG sent Will this amazing, signed and framed picture of Bobby Orr's most famous goal.

Ringers lose championship in shootout

2008-09-10T11:44:00.002-05:00

Oh the humanity!

Losing by a few points takes a lot more time, as you sit on the bench, exhausted, with the whole concept of losing sinking in. It's a gradual approach, kinda like the tentative entry into a cold pool. Not quite as painful as the sudden transition from "Oh-my-god-we-could-win-this!" to "It's all over!" as the puck bounces off of Anthony's pads and in.

Not that Ant failed us this weekend; he had some spectacular saves over the weekend, and kept us in the final game long enough to crawl our way back into overtime.

On a good note, we got to play 5 fun games this weekend, and were able to dominate in four, even without Chauder. The team play was exceptional - lots of great work all around.

And on another good note, Marc Lavergne, with the help of his lovely family, were able to erase years of comments about his cheapness and mooching ways. The Lavergnes were exceptionally generous this weekend, opening their house to us all on Saturday night for a barbeque. Everything they served was delicious, including the 3 brownies I snuck out with at the end. On behalf of all Ringer Nation, let me say that we really appreciated this wonderful event.

The Frog Team Video

2008-09-07T10:03:00.001-05:00

Why don't we have a video?

Line 3

2008-09-06T20:37:00.002-05:00

Game 3 brought another win to notch on the Ringers' belt, and confirmed our first place position in the semi-final games on Sunday morning. It also marked the triumphant return of Shirley Wilson, who settled in remarkably quickly, donning wife-beater and telling nasty jokes about French Canadians.

This, of course, prompted Lavergne (one of Quebec's finest) to promote Lars to 2nd line and throw Shirley down to line 3, along with Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dummer (2K and Weiss). But shift after shift, this remarkable combination of fatties seemed to deliver, and rally our boys out of an early scorless first period.

Chauder didn't make the game, though.

Bowl O' Butter

2008-09-06T08:12:00.002-05:00

We celebrated our second victory with breakfast at Golden Corral. Final Score: Ringers: 7, Lexington Ice Men: 2.

Lots of nutritional excitement at the GoCo, like the bowl of butter, only half devoured by Charney. Apparently, though, there's a champagne room here... I saw Hub and Donnie with singles ready, but Patty emerged with a smile on his face and a chicken-fried steak.

First One Down

2008-09-05T19:50:00.005-05:00

Despite sub-stellar performances from Weiss and Norman, we won the first game against Team Labatts Blue. But they were all the rage in Ziggy's afterwards with their beatboxing and rapping skills.

"You're a shotgun - bang! What's up with that thang?
I wanna know how does it hang?
Straight up, wait up, hold up, Mr. Lover
Like Prince said you're a sexy mutha.."

Anyway, with over 200 fans in attendance, the Ringers played magnificently, scoring 3 times in the first 4 shifts. Then I got on the ice, and the pace slowed down a bit. Nonetheless, we were looking at 9 to 2 by the end of the 2nd period. End of the game, the scoreboard reads 99 to 2, having reached its limit, and is incapable of registering the last 37 goals.

Post game 2K brings the pops in house, then we're off to Ziggy's for undercooked pizza and good beer. Early start tomorrow, though... puck drops at 6:45am!!!

Lines

2008-09-05T12:23:00.005-05:00

Okay, here's how the coaching staff wants to play this out:

	LW	Center	RW
Line 1	Lavergne	Hub	Patty O'Norman
Line 2	Jason	Joey Bago Wilson	PrisonBreak
Line 3	Weiss	Lars	2K
Defense	Ambler, Philly, Donnie, and Charney

Update from our goalie

2008-09-05T11:48:00.003-05:00

Just sent a note to our goalie, Anthony, to make sure everything was good to go for later today.

Labatts 2008 Calendar is out!

2008-08-29T15:13:00.006-05:00

See calendar listed on the sidebar - looks like we've got a decent rotation. Of course, 6:45am on Saturday might be a struggle - Pat might have to get up around 5:30 to be drunk by gametime.

For you weenies that need to know the whole schedule, click here.

Here we go!

Is Chauder gonna show?

2007-09-10T17:56:00.001-05:00

Wish I had a dollar for every time I got that question this weekend. Our famed defensive powerhouse (knuckle-dragging, mouth-breathing goon) was getting back from a week-long vacation in Mexico on Friday, so we knew he couldn't make game 1.

But for the next 3 games, we wondered each time if he would show, and as guys arrived in the locker room and came around the corner into view, we watched, eager with anticipation, to see if Chauder had arrived to save us from our defensive misery! But each time we were deflated to finally realize, as the Zam finished its last pass, that no, Chauder wasn't coming. Where was he, we kept asking? And now, it's clear.

We knew that Dr. Chauder, a.k.a. Sea Panda had an interest in marine biology, but had no idea that his true passion was to frolic with Flipper. Note he's got that same goofy grin that he gets when he's smashing some poor sap into the boards with his arse.

At least he's finally wearing a chest protector.

No Repeat

2007-09-10T08:48:00.000-05:00

Broken Warrior. Technically, a broken RBK blade that was in a Warrior shaft, which was previously a one-piece, but broke... oh never mind.

Like this blade, our boys hopes and dreams were shattered by the Rocky Mount Rump Rangers Sunday morning in a tight contest that brought an end to our 2007 championship run. In reality, our run may have met its end Saturday at 5pm, when we met the Pine Hard Lickers from Florida in our third game. These boyhood chums had their origins in Montreal, and despite their average age of 47 years, outplayed everyone else in our division, with scores like 9-1, 6-0, 8-2, etc. On the good side, they said afterwards that we played them better than anyone else had, but that loss, with a full audience in view, was a energy-sapping confidence-shaker that probably put us a little gun-shy for the Sunday playoff game.

So, at about 8:30 on Sunday morning, our heroes were enjoying a beautiful sunrise and drinking our last tournament beers. It was a good and fitting close, and we all adjusted our "glass half-empty" frustrations of missed shots and flubbed plays to the satisfaction that we made it to the "final four" out of ten teams, and got to play an extra game. Which meant 15 more beer tickets Saturday night. What's not to like?

In the next few posts, we'll talk about MVPs, and highlight some other "Plays of the Tournament"

Off to a good start

2007-09-08T08:49:00.000-05:00

Any visit to Golden Corral is a happy event; doubly so this morning after our second win of the Tourney. Getting moving at 6:45 am wasn't quite as difficult as we had thought, and after a short stack of pancakes, we all have a full Saturday ahead of us.

Wilson enjoyed his two full plates of pork, served every way GoCo does it. I got a little fruit to offset the gravy biscuit. Marty got him a mess of grits, his secret passion that caused such a rift when revealed to his Long Island family that he had to leave New York forever. Sad.

But not quite as sad as this reporter's botched empty-net goal. In the final seconds, with us up 3 to 1, they pulled their goalie and I had a breakaway opportunity. When I finally looked up to find some open net I realized, "Hey! the WHOLE net is open!" And this unexpected revelation must have jiggered my limited mental faculties enough to make me shoot late. Oh, it was a nice, hard shot, and it made a nice "DING" sound as it careened away off the post...

Perhaps an opportunity to redeem myself will come around 5pm today for Game 3...

Itinerary through Game 3

2007-09-07T09:21:00.000-05:00

Friday, September 7

12pm: Pre-game meal (Hooters wings, but only 10)
1pm to 3pm: "Work from home"
3:30 pm: Norman starts drinking
4pm: Weiss calls Peterson to see if he's coming
5pm: Arrive at rink and sign in
5:45 pm: Game 1
6:45 pm to 7:30 pm: Post-game interviews and autographs
7:00 pm: Chauder arrives back from Mexico
8pm: Dinner at Los Tres Magueyes
9:30 pm: Everyone EXCEPT Norman lays out their gear in the garage to dry out

Saturday, September 8

5am: Marty finishes his paper route
5:45 am: Pack bags with dry clothes straight out of the dryer
6:15 am: Arrive at rink
6:45 am: Game 2
7:45 am to 8:15 am: Post-game interviews and autographs
8:30 am: Team breakfast at Golden Corral
9:30 am to 3:30 pm: Run all over town to attend your kids' soccer, baseball, hockey, or football games. Or in Lavergne's case, your daughter's dance recital. Or in Wilson's case, his own interpretive dance recital.
4:30 pm: Arrive at rink
5:00 pm: Game 3
6:00 pm: Post-game interviews and autographs
6:45 pm: Post-game pizza event

Details Emerging

2007-08-31T10:16:00.001-05:00

One of the nice features of the Labatt Blue Adult Classic Tournament in Wake Forest is that they dole out a nicely chilled case of beer into each team's locker room after each game! Sure, there's a moment of hesitation after the 6:00am game on Saturday, but this particular perk of the Tourney is much appreciated by all.

This year, things will be done slightly differently; they'll be handing out tickets to get beers at Vincent's Pizza after each game, and in lieu of the Saturday party, they'll be providing tickets for two large pies to each team on Saturday. Those tickets will be valid at any time Vincent's is open, but only for that weekend.

Having beer in the locker room is fun, but makes us prone to more awkward moments involving stories about pickles, farm animals, and Neil Diamond. And frankly, we have a new policy of No More Half Naked Men (NMHNM), so USA Hockey's approach is welcome.

Look for a Weekend Itinerary coming soon....

Labatts is ON!!

2007-08-15T20:18:00.000-05:00

Oh yes, it was close to the wire, but we squeaked in our application just in time before the annual Labatt Blue tourney filled up, so your 2006 champions will be back to defend the title. Kinda cool to see that Wake Forest, NC filled up its tourney faster than Lancaster, PA.

The roster has been drafted and is in the process of being set now as money gets collected. More details will be forthcoming shortly!

In the meantime, let me make you this promise: there will be far fewer pictures of naked men during this tourney than we had out there for the Charleston tournament. Oh, sure, we'll miss the Google ad revenue we got from gay porn sites that referred to us, but it's the right thing to do.

As if the one picture wasn't enough...

2007-04-30T12:33:00.000-05:00

...Shirley was able to find a bridesmaid from a bachelorette party to take a picture in vivid detail. Good thing it was a bridesmaid and not the bride; that wouldn't be a good start to the marriage to have the new groom find these suckers on her hard drive. On the other hand, this bachelorette party was being held at an Irish Pub...

By the way, there were a LOT of bachelorette parties going on last Saturday night. A lot of women about to turn in their youth and independence for a lifetime saddled with old farts like us. And if you could conceive of a poster, warning young women to focus on their career and wait to get married, it might look something like this:

Shirley hears the call

2007-04-24T08:22:00.000-05:00

Former Red Hot Chili Pepper Brian "Shirley" Wilson felt a little homesick for his old band Saturday night, and decided to enjoy a few hours in the warm Charleston air shirtless.

Fortunately for everyone, an infected sore on Shirley's knee kept him from taking his pants off.

After last call, we had to walk a few blocks to our cars, and people on Meeting street were either pointing and laughing or running away screaming as our plucky center strolled proudly in his birthday suit.

Thankfully, we in team management had gone to a different set of nightspots, and managed to miss most of the shenanigans that Shirley and his comrades were up to. Patrick "Zoolander" Norman was in fine form, but had his conversation with a tall woman cut short by Lavergne. In a way only the French can do, Marc somehow made the statement, "You're really tall!" sound like "Your face is too far away for me to see anything other than your morbidly obeseness! Please lay off the gravy biscuits, d'accord?"

We all got tatoos...

2007-04-23T10:15:00.000-05:00

...or at least, Chauder did. Our boy was just skating along, minding his own business, and one of the boys from Greenville ran into his shoulder with his head down. While most of us mortals wear shoulder protection, Dr. Chauder elects not to, since he claims they obstruct his "feel" of the offensive player.

If you look carefully, you can see the outline of a CCM Tacks 452 cage on his shoulder; that little mark on the left was probably the guys mouthguard.

Oh, we learned a great deal about Dr. Chauder this weekend; some of those things we learned will be documented later, and others, well, they should never ever be documented anywhere. But for now, we will be hereafter referring to him as Sea Panda.

Road Rash

2007-04-23T09:56:00.000-05:00

This picture seems like your ordinary type of road trip picture that you might take of your associates riding in a separate car. That's Patrick "3rd Man In" Magee in Matt Sannipoli's Ford Expedition. Not a particularly interesting shot, but the one I wanted to get happened a few minutes earlier, and frankly, I was just too flummoxed to get my camera up in time.

Imagine, if you will, that ENTIRE window, filled with Patrick's bare naked ass, pimples and all, staring me in the face.

Horrifying.

Between that and Wilson's Venice Beach performance Saturday night, I think I might need to meet with my therapist twice a week now.

Ringers Roll to South Carolina

2007-04-20T15:58:00.000-05:00

We had a couple of options heading down to SC - we looked at a 15-passenger van, even inquired about a bus. But in the end, Mr. Weiss and new Assistant GM Nuebler elected to sit in air conditioned comfort, watching Kill Bill on the overhead DVD panel while team driver Tooke drove.

Made good time, and it appears that everyone's almost here. Oh, excuse me, gotta go: Mr. Weiss just rang the stewardess bell for more peanuts...

Charleston 2007!

2007-04-19T09:50:00.000-05:00

On the eve of the Ringers first remote tournament, things seem to be shaping up fairly well. We have enough bodies to skate a few lines, we have a goalie, and we have a place to stay. We have travel arrangements set, beer in the cooler, and fresh new rolls of tape.

All the logistics have been carefully documented for the team, and we've set up this site to capture all the details as they happen.

Since attendance to these tournaments is optional, players often need to be encouraged to go, and this often leads to various forms of perks and accomodations. Much like the celebrity backstage riders made famous on The Smoking Gun's site, we've begun to field some special requests from the agents representing our players through faxes or emails. Here's one example from a fax we just received:

And here's another, a post-it note I found stuck to my car window:

But I think it's safe to say that all needs have been addressed at this point. Click here to find all details on logistics for the weekend, and we'll see you on the ice!